Wednesday, July 30, 2008

Friday Night Swing Unveils Rubik's Cube

In an effort to sell its soul to the world of mass merchandising, Friday Night Swing has introduced the first-ever Rubik's Cube with a Friday Night Swing theme.

The cube is now available at retailers nationwide, with international sales set to begin in September.

The standard-sized cube consists of six faces, each with a sticker depicting 1/9 of a photograph of the Friday Night Swing poster. A pivot mechanism allows each face to turn, which mixes up the picture and causes frustration to the person holding the cube. Agitation leads the person to further mix up the picture, making it impossible to solve.

"Don't move anything and you'll be fine," Autumn suggested at today's press conference. "Just take it out of the box and leave it like it is."

As the popularity of its standard-sized cube grows, Friday Night Swing plans to unveil the mind-bending puzzles in other versions, including the Pocket Cube (2x2x2), the Master Cube (4x4x4), and the Professor's Cube (5x5x5).

According to Autumn, cubes with different Friday Night Swing images are also in the works, but when pressed by journalists, he would not reveal whether or not a future version of the cube would feature a close-up of his face.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Congratulations, Glenn and Dawn!

Glenn's spokesperson has confirmed reports that the San Francisco lindy hopper, whose performance in Cheek to Cheek's Pink Panther routine inspired millions of people to take up swing dancing, married Dawn on July 5th.

The ceremony took place on the Presidio and was followed by a reception at the Officer's Club. After dinner, Friday Night Swing's own Autumn LaVarta, along with Jane Fields, led the newlyweds' family and friends in a swing lesson to prepare them for a night of dancing to live music by the Royal Society Jazz Orchestra.

"I nearly broke my ankle," one guest was overheard saying. "But it was so much fun, I didn't care!"

While Glenn's spokesperson confirmed that the wedding took place, she laughed off rumors that the cast of ABC's Grey's Anatomy attended the ceremony.

"Glenn and Dawn have never even met the cast of Grey's Anatomy," she said. "In fact, I don't know if they've ever seen the show. That rumor is completely absurd and 100% false."

Controversy aside, be sure to congratulate the newlyweds next time you see them!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

This Week Only: FNS Moves to Thursday Night at Le Colonial

Do you even know what happened on July 4th in 1776? If you're like many Americans, you probably think it has something to do with the adoption of the United States Declaration of Independence, declaring our independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.

Well, you are sort of correct. Drafted by lindy hop enthusiast Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of Independence actually declares that swing dancing is the awesomest dance ever. The following excerpt from this monumental document nearly makes you weep:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all dance genres are not created equal, that swing dancing, and in particular the lindy hop, is endowed by its Creators with certain unalienable awesomeness, that among these are swing-outs, swivels, and the pursuit of stylistic flourishes.--That to secure this awesomeness, Friday Night Swing was instituted among men and women, deriving its just powers from the consent of the dancers who gather there."

To celebrate the 232nd anniversay of this momentous day in our nation's history, Friday Night Swing is cancelled this week. Go watch your fireworks and eat your potato salad, okay?

But wait -- there's more! Friday Night Swing will be held informally on Thursday, July 3, from 7-10pm at Le Colonial. You'll do what you do best -- boogie, that is -- to live music from the Martini Brothers Band and deejayed tunes from Hep Jen. Thomas Jefferson and several of his founding-father buddies will return from the dead for one last swing-dancing bash, so don't miss out on the fun!