Friday Night Swing Wins National Award

Not a single jaw dropped in the entire auditorium when Friday Night Swing was announced the winner of a prestigious national award for excellence and outstanding superiority. The ceremony, hosted by Al Pacino (Any Given Sunday, Devil's Advocate), was held at the Legion of Honor in San Francisco's Presidio.

"The nominees," said presenter George Lopez to an audience that included Brad Pitt, shamed New York governor Eliot Spitzer, and the ghost of King Lear, "are Silly Putty, Pixar films, carbohydrates, Friday Night Swing, and books by George Saunders." Lopez opened the envelope and feigned a look of surprise. "The winner is Friday Night Swing!"

Autumn LaVarta, who attended with an adoring Jessica Alba, accepted the award on his own behalf, saying, "I knew Friday Night Swing was better than Silly Putty -- but better than carbs? I'm humbled. Thank you to everyone who makes Friday Night Swing possible, which is mostly me!"