Friday Night Swing Unveils Rubik's Cube

In an effort to sell its soul to the world of mass merchandising, Friday Night Swing has introduced the first-ever Rubik's Cube with a Friday Night Swing theme.

The cube is now available at retailers nationwide, with international sales set to begin in September.

The standard-sized cube consists of six faces, each with a sticker depicting 1/9 of a photograph of the Friday Night Swing poster. A pivot mechanism allows each face to turn, which mixes up the picture and causes frustration to the person holding the cube. Agitation leads the person to further mix up the picture, making it impossible to solve.

"Don't move anything and you'll be fine," Autumn suggested at today's press conference. "Just take it out of the box and leave it like it is."

As the popularity of its standard-sized cube grows, Friday Night Swing plans to unveil the mind-bending puzzles in other versions, including the Pocket Cube (2x2x2), the Master Cube (4x4x4), and the Professor's Cube (5x5x5).

According to Autumn, cubes with different Friday Night Swing images are also in the works, but when pressed by journalists, he would not reveal whether or not a future version of the cube would feature a close-up of his face.

Congratulations, Glenn and Dawn!

Glenn's spokesperson has confirmed reports that the San Francisco lindy hopper, whose performance in Cheek to Cheek's Pink Panther routine inspired millions of people to take up swing dancing, married Dawn on July 5th.

The ceremony took place on the Presidio and was followed by a reception at the Officer's Club. After dinner, Friday Night Swing's own Autumn LaVarta, along with Jane Fields, led the newlyweds' family and friends in a swing lesson to prepare them for a night of dancing to live music by the Royal Society Jazz Orchestra.

"I nearly broke my ankle," one guest was overheard saying. "But it was so much fun, I didn't care!"

While Glenn's spokesperson confirmed that the wedding took place, she laughed off rumors that the cast of ABC's Grey's Anatomy attended the ceremony.

"Glenn and Dawn have never even met the cast of Grey's Anatomy," she said. "In fact, I don't know if they've ever seen the show. That rumor is completely absurd and 100% false."

Controversy aside, be sure to congratulate the newlyweds next time you see them!

This Week Only: FNS Moves to Thursday Night at Le Colonial

Do you even know what happened on July 4th in 1776? If you're like many Americans, you probably think it has something to do with the adoption of the United States Declaration of Independence, declaring our independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain.

Well, you are sort of correct. Drafted by lindy hop enthusiast Thomas Jefferson, the Declaration of Independence actually declares that swing dancing is the awesomest dance ever. The following excerpt from this monumental document nearly makes you weep:

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all dance genres are not created equal, that swing dancing, and in particular the lindy hop, is endowed by its Creators with certain unalienable awesomeness, that among these are swing-outs, swivels, and the pursuit of stylistic flourishes.--That to secure this awesomeness, Friday Night Swing was instituted among men and women, deriving its just powers from the consent of the dancers who gather there."

To celebrate the 232nd anniversay of this momentous day in our nation's history, Friday Night Swing is cancelled this week. Go watch your fireworks and eat your potato salad, okay?

But wait -- there's more! Friday Night Swing will be held informally on Thursday, July 3, from 7-10pm at Le Colonial. You'll do what you do best -- boogie, that is -- to live music from the Martini Brothers Band and deejayed tunes from Hep Jen. Thomas Jefferson and several of his founding-father buddies will return from the dead for one last swing-dancing bash, so don't miss out on the fun!

Friday Night Swing Wins National Award

Not a single jaw dropped in the entire auditorium when Friday Night Swing was announced the winner of a prestigious national award for excellence and outstanding superiority. The ceremony, hosted by Al Pacino (Any Given Sunday, Devil's Advocate), was held at the Legion of Honor in San Francisco's Presidio.

"The nominees," said presenter George Lopez to an audience that included Brad Pitt, shamed New York governor Eliot Spitzer, and the ghost of King Lear, "are Silly Putty, Pixar films, carbohydrates, Friday Night Swing, and books by George Saunders." Lopez opened the envelope and feigned a look of surprise. "The winner is Friday Night Swing!"

Autumn LaVarta, who attended with an adoring Jessica Alba, accepted the award on his own behalf, saying, "I knew Friday Night Swing was better than Silly Putty -- but better than carbs? I'm humbled. Thank you to everyone who makes Friday Night Swing possible, which is mostly me!"

Jane Turns 30, Reveals Secret Past

For many people, turning 30 is a time to reconcile with one's past and make plans for the future. This milestone birthday has been known to cause people to make jaw-dropping confessions to their loved ones -- secrets ranging from being an FBI agent trapped in the body of a postal worker to having a meth lab in the basement. But no 30th-birthday confession has ever been as shocking as the one to which you are about to bear witness.

Yes, after plumbing the depths of her soul, Jane has confessed to being one of the original cast members of TV's long-running sitcom The Brady Bunch.


Few people know that there was never intended to be a "Greg Brady." The original eldest son of Mike Brady was not a son at all -- she was a daughter named Greta, played by our very own Jane. According to scripts obtained from a high-security vault, the lyrics to the second verse of the infamous theme song originally went like this: It's the story of a man named Brady who was busy with three kids of his own. They were three men and a little lady, but they were all alone.

After just one episode -- in which Jane's character Greta is kicked out of a ballet recital for being too clumsy and then takes up tap dancing, only to annoy her whole family while practicing her new tap moves at home -- the creator, Sherwood Schwartz, determined that Jane was "far too modern" for the show, and that she seemed to have "come from the future." He tore up her contract and hired Barry Williams to take her place -- not as Greta, but as Greg.

"I'm glad this is finally out in the open," Jane told a crowd of onlookers. "Unburdening myself of this double life is my birthday present to myself."

(Please join us in wishing Jane the very happiest of 30th birthdays!)

Forecast: Blazing Hot With a Chance of Lindy Hop

Is it hot enough for you? Did you just get a bag of frozen peas out of the freezer and press it against your face? Come on, you can tell us. Did you have a pint of Häagen-Dazs raspberry sorbet for lunch? How embarrassing!

But let's get to the point here. Are you thinking of staying in tonight to watch the "Ice Worlds" episode of Planet Earth with a cold, wet washcloth around your neck? Because if you do that, you may stay cool -- but you will also be uncool, if you know what we mean. Don't risk it. Come on out and dance!

Friday Night Swing Class To Be Held in Black and White

In a tip of the hat to such classic films as Citizen Kane, Dr. Strangelove, and The Maltese Falcon, this week's dance lesson will be held in black and white. A delicate interplay of light and shadows will alternately conceal and reveal students and instructors alike. Don't miss out on the Hitchcockian fun -- join Autumn and Lynne this Friday at 8:15 sharp!