Adam Lambert Invited to Friday Night Swing

Adam Lambert, the American Idol contestant and gender-bending hearththrob with a falsetto that would send a tear of joy down the cheek of Kim Jong Il, is a hot topic in the San Francisco lindy scene.

In our recent scientific poll, asking visitors whom they'd rather swing dance with, Lambert received the highest number of votes.

"He received twice as many votes as Hulk Hogan," said a source close to the FNS blog. "It was a landslide."

Some critics are saying that the sample was not large enough to be scientifically viable.

"There were only seven votes altogether," said associate professor of statistics Buzz McKill. "And actually, Lambert's two votes puts him in a three-way tie with Jon Stewart and Pope Benedict the XVI. So the whole thing is kind of dumb."

"The swing-dancing community has spoken," said the anonymous FNS source. "They were given four choices, and Lambert emerged as a clear winner."

On the heels of this historic win, Mr. Lambert has been invited to attend Friday Night Swing free of charge. The value of this prize package is $14 if he attends the lesson before the party, which he is encouraged to do.

Bandit Steals Hearts at Friday Night Swing

There's a new swing dancer in town, people, and his name is Bandit. A one-time motorcycle enthusiast whose owner could no longer take care of him, Bandit was adopted by Jack, a Cheryl Burke regular with a weakness for homeless puppies. Predictably, Jack now goes by "Smokey."

After only ten days in his new home, the eight-week-old lab/shepherd mix has been transformed into the youngest -- and cutest -- lindyhopper on record, ever, in the history and future of everything, both written and unwritten.

"I was scared to dance at first," he woofed. "I thought I had four left paws! But once I hit the floor, it became clear that I was born to dance...right into your hearts."

Live Music Returns April 24th

The news that the Midnight Sessions will be returning to Friday Night Swing on April 24 has taken the blogosphere by storm. Just hours after Autumn LaVarta made the official announcement via his chat status message last week, the news had been picked up by every blog of note and all of the major news networks.

The Huffington Post, Boing Boing, and Perez Hilton immediately pounced on the announcement, each one claiming to have broken the news first.

"We haven't heard of the Midnight Sessions," said a spokesperson for The Huffington Post, apparently trying to distance the hugely popular blog from the controversy. "We're sure they're quite good, but we have made no mention of them on our site. We wish them, and Friday Night Swing, all the best."

Spokespeople for Boing Boing and Perez Hilton had not returned our calls as of press time.

CNN's Anderson Cooper will be airing a 60-minute investigative report on the Midnight Sessions upcoming stint at Friday Night Swing on tomorrow night's Anderson Cooper 360°. The special -- called The Midnight Sessions and Friday Night Swing: Smashdown to the Armageddon? -- is expected to be Cooper's most-watched show and is the odds-on favorite to dominate next year's Peabody Awards.

"The implication that we're doing a show on the Midnight Sessions playing at Friday Night Swing is preposterous," said one of Cooper's executive producers. "I haven't even been interviewed about this. Everything I'm being quoted as saying right now is entirely fabricated."

The bottom line? You would have to be completely out of your mind to miss the Midnight Sessions playing their sweet swing tunes live at Friday Night Swing on April 24th. Any swing band capable of generating this level of buzz and controversy -- collectively known as "buzztroversy" -- is not to be missed!

And that's the truthiness.